Student Petition to the School Board AND TOWN HALL MEETING THURSDAY AT 7PM MURRAY LIBRARY EVERYONE WELCOME

If you want to make your voice be heard regarding the unjust termination of great people such as Mike Farley, Steve Farley, Greg Farley (Steve’s clone who worked as a lunch lady), and Kelly Casaday, you now have a great means to do so. Join your fellow students in voicing their disappointment in decisions made by the AISU board of directors in a cool and productive way.

Follow this link to the student petition: Students’ Petition (Conceived and Written by Students)

Note: Mike Farley and all other adults mentioned have no knowledge of the writing of this petition.

 

Also, if you are a parent, sign this petition: Parent Petition (written and conceived by parents)

If you are neither of these, but care about Mike and Steve and Greg and Kelly a great deal, sign either one. I don’t care. No matter who you are, though please do not sign both. We want this to be as honest and legal of a process as possible, as boring as that is. If you are a student AND a parent (we won’t judge), I guess you can sign both. Otherwise, stay honest please.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

THERE WILL BE A TOWN HALL Q&A WITH MIKE FARLEY, WHO WILL, WITH A LEGAL INFORMANT, BE ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS THAT YOU, STUDENTS, PARENTS, OR UNCONNECTED COMMUNITY MEMBERS, MAY HAVE.

IT WILL BE AT 7:00 PM MOUNTAIN TIME, THURSDAY JULY 6, AT THE MURRAY LIBRARY (166 E. 5300 S., Murray UT, 84107).

SEE PICTURE FOR MORE DETAILS.

 

School Play Goes Awry After LDS Students Refuse to Attend Sunday Rehearsal; Director Saves Day

By guest writer Mrs. Potato Head

AISU – Panic spread last week when several students in AISU’s school musical “Fellas and Girls” refused to show up at an emergency Sunday Rehearsal. The extra practice was scheduled despite protests from the cast’s several LDS students, who, though visibly exhausted, were seen picketing outside the PAC holding large signs that read “I sold my soul for theatre,” “I can’t, I have rehearsal,” and “President Uchtdorf says ‘Stop it!’” When asked to comment about the protest, an anonymous student could only mumble “Every Day … Every Day …” repeatedly, staring blankly into the distance.

Reporters were unable to enter the building, but an anonymous source, using “pounds of chocolate and caffeine” to bribe the directors, was able to get a “peek of the action on the stage.”

There, the directors reportedly were participating in a ritual to “summon the spirit of Macbeth.” Theater experts say this is nothing to be disturbed about: “It’s not uncommon, a few weeks before the show, for directors to bathe in the blood of their techies and perform the ‘cleansing ceremony’ before the great Shakespeare. It’s a wonderful way for a cast to bond.” However, Macbeth’s ghost did not respond to the summons and was not available for comment. After the failed ceremony, directors were seen lying motionless on the stage, twitching occasionally.

At this moment of desperation, witnesses say Mindy “the Mighty” jumped up with a crazy look in her eye, vowing to “salvage the remnants.” She began to run across the stage, playing every part, some of them simultaneously. Musical director behaviorists say they observe such behavior often: “When a director has come under intense stress, he or she is likely to develop psychosomatic symptoms such as hallucination, meltdowns, multiple personality disorder, a cold, ‘karaoke fever,’ and rocking back and forth listening to Michael Buble.” Sure enough, sources say that soon after Mindy had sung through every love duet, she collapsed to the floor in the fetal position as Michael Buble played through the speakers.

The good news is, our sources report, that Mindy “the Musical Magician” single-handedly completed the rehearsal without making a single mistake, not counting those made by the technicians operating the microphones and lighting. In fact, it was by far the cast’s best rehearsal, and it happened to be the one in which students refused to participate, leading to speculation that this might have been Mindy’s plan all along.

“Mindy Young has been known to put on a fantastic show despite performers for many years,” said one expert. “She has always been great at determining exactly what needs to be added or removed from a musical to make it successful, and this time, the students may have been what needed removing.”

There is still no word on whether the protesting students will be allowed back onstage, but another Shakespearean summoning ritual is scheduled for next week, and most experts agree that between Mindy’s multiple personalities, whatever dead Shakespeare characters can be rounded up, and a cast with a day of rest, this year’s school play should be, at the very least, “kinda okay.”

This article was written by a guest writer who sent his/her complete article to AISUGRAVY@GMAIL.COM, which was then slightly revised, edited, and posted by Gravy professionals. This guest writer is no different from you or me except that this guest writer wrote an article for the Daily Gravy and sent it to AISUGRAVY@GMAIL.COM. Other than that, there really aren’t that many differences between the two of you. This guest writer isn’t any more special than you or anything, except that he/she wrote an article and sent it to AISUGRAVY@GMAIL.COM, and you haven’t yet. That’s really the only important difference. So what are you waiting for? If you would like your work to be posted on the Daily Gravy and laughed at (in a mostly good way) by many of your peers, email your article to AISUGRAVY@GMAIL.COM and have a nice day.