AISU – Immediately following the American International School of Utah’s “3.0 launch party” Tuesday, Merriam-Webster printed billions of updated copies of its popular dictionary and updated it website to include two new words: “fam” and “devastatement.”
The official definitions for these words are:
Fam: A very close friendship with one or more persons, implying closeness similar that of family, such as “bro” or “bruh,” e.g. “What’s good, fam?”
Devastatement: A word used to describe the changes announced for the American International School of Utah’s third year, e.g. “Did you hear about the [change to be made for 3.0]?” “Yeah, that’s a huge devastatement, fam.”
Both of the new words have been received well by the public and have been called “extremely useful,” particularly by AISU students. “‘Fam’ is a great, gender-neutral and number-neutral word for ‘bro,’” said one student. “I’ve always wondered what I’m supposed to say to my female friends or to large groups from both genders when I want to express the closeness that ‘bro’ connotes. Now I have something I can say to all of them.
“And ever since I heard about the 3.0 changes, I’ve been struggling to put my feelings to words, and ‘devastatement’ describes the changes announced for AISU’s third year perfectly, so props to the Merriam-Webster folks for coming up with that one.”
“I will definitely use ‘devastatement’ a lot,” said another student. “I actually wanted to use it during the launch party, but I didn’t feel like I could, because you ain’t supposed to use words that ain’t in the dictionary. Now that it’s been recognized as a word, I feel validated.”
English teachers will now be required to acknowledge both words by not marking them as misspellings when grading papers. And plans are currently underway to update all word processors’ spell-checking features so that the red squiggly line doesn’t appear under “fam” or “devastatement” when you type them. A spokesperson for Merriam-Webster says the next step is to update cell phone keyboards so that “fam” no longer auto-corrects to “fan” and “devastatement” no longer auto-corrects to “AISU 3.0 changes.”
The Daily Gravy 
Student Petition to the School Board AND TOWN HALL MEETING THURSDAY AT 7PM MURRAY LIBRARY EVERYONE WELCOME
If you want to make your voice be heard regarding the unjust termination of great people such as Mike Farley, Steve Farley, Greg Farley (Steve’s clone who worked as a lunch lady), and Kelly Casaday, you now have a great means to do so. Join your fellow students in voicing their disappointment in decisions made by the AISU board of directors in a cool and productive way.
Follow this link to the student petition: Students’ Petition (Conceived and Written by Students)
Note: Mike Farley and all other adults mentioned have no knowledge of the writing of this petition.
Also, if you are a parent, sign this petition: Parent Petition (written and conceived by parents)
If you are neither of these, but care about Mike and Steve and Greg and Kelly a great deal, sign either one. I don’t care. No matter who you are, though please do not sign both. We want this to be as honest and legal of a process as possible, as boring as that is. If you are a student AND a parent (we won’t judge), I guess you can sign both. Otherwise, stay honest please.
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
THERE WILL BE A TOWN HALL Q&A WITH MIKE FARLEY, WHO WILL, WITH A LEGAL INFORMANT, BE ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS THAT YOU, STUDENTS, PARENTS, OR UNCONNECTED COMMUNITY MEMBERS, MAY HAVE.
IT WILL BE AT 7:00 PM MOUNTAIN TIME, THURSDAY JULY 6, AT THE MURRAY LIBRARY (166 E. 5300 S., Murray UT, 84107).
SEE PICTURE FOR MORE DETAILS.