AISU – The American International School of Utah is hosting a “3.0 Launch Party” tonight at 7:00 pm, where AISU will announce many disruptive changes to be implemented for AISU’s 3rd year. AISU officials claim that they want people to attend this meeting, which is scheduled at the same time as “NCIS” (television’s top-rated drama) and “The Flash” (the CW’s only well-written drama).
The scheduling conflict has led some to conclude that AISU actually doesn’t want anyone to show up at the launch party. This conclusion supports the previous studies conducted which say that the changes to be made for AISU’s 3rd year “suck a lot” and that they may have been conceived “under the influence” of hard drugs.
“I wonder if AISU is hosting any kind of meeting at all,” one expert speculated. “That’s why they scheduled the meeting for a time slot when they knew nobody would show up.”
More optimistic people are hoping that the event will consist of the administration shouting “April Fools!” and then sending the crowd to two separate rooms, one showing “NCIS” and the other showing “The Flash.” However, most experts agree that this is mere wishful thinking. “Besides, even if that did happen,” one student observed, “we’d miss the first couple minutes of either show. I’m personally planning to stay home, watch NCIS, and then watch the 3.0 Launch Party when it’s on Netflix.”
The Daily Gravy journalists will not be attending the Launch Party, as we will instead be watching the long-anticipated episode of The Flash. Therefore, any articles written about events occurring at the Launch Party will be purely based on the Launch Party we watch when available on Netflix.
The Daily Gravy 
Student Petition to the School Board AND TOWN HALL MEETING THURSDAY AT 7PM MURRAY LIBRARY EVERYONE WELCOME
If you want to make your voice be heard regarding the unjust termination of great people such as Mike Farley, Steve Farley, Greg Farley (Steve’s clone who worked as a lunch lady), and Kelly Casaday, you now have a great means to do so. Join your fellow students in voicing their disappointment in decisions made by the AISU board of directors in a cool and productive way.
Follow this link to the student petition: Students’ Petition (Conceived and Written by Students)
Note: Mike Farley and all other adults mentioned have no knowledge of the writing of this petition.
Also, if you are a parent, sign this petition: Parent Petition (written and conceived by parents)
If you are neither of these, but care about Mike and Steve and Greg and Kelly a great deal, sign either one. I don’t care. No matter who you are, though please do not sign both. We want this to be as honest and legal of a process as possible, as boring as that is. If you are a student AND a parent (we won’t judge), I guess you can sign both. Otherwise, stay honest please.
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
THERE WILL BE A TOWN HALL Q&A WITH MIKE FARLEY, WHO WILL, WITH A LEGAL INFORMANT, BE ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS THAT YOU, STUDENTS, PARENTS, OR UNCONNECTED COMMUNITY MEMBERS, MAY HAVE.
IT WILL BE AT 7:00 PM MOUNTAIN TIME, THURSDAY JULY 6, AT THE MURRAY LIBRARY (166 E. 5300 S., Murray UT, 84107).
SEE PICTURE FOR MORE DETAILS.