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Mannequin

Student Petition to the School Board AND TOWN HALL MEETING THURSDAY AT 7PM MURRAY LIBRARY EVERYONE WELCOME

If you want to make your voice be heard regarding the unjust termination of great people such as Mike Farley, Steve Farley, Greg Farley (Steve’s clone who worked as a lunch lady), and Kelly Casaday, you now have a great means to do so. Join your fellow students in voicing their disappointment in decisions made by the AISU board of directors in a cool and productive way.

Follow this link to the student petition: Students’ Petition (Conceived and Written by Students)

Note: Mike Farley and all other adults mentioned have no knowledge of the writing of this petition.

 

Also, if you are a parent, sign this petition: Parent Petition (written and conceived by parents)

If you are neither of these, but care about Mike and Steve and Greg and Kelly a great deal, sign either one. I don’t care. No matter who you are, though please do not sign both. We want this to be as honest and legal of a process as possible, as boring as that is. If you are a student AND a parent (we won’t judge), I guess you can sign both. Otherwise, stay honest please.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

THERE WILL BE A TOWN HALL Q&A WITH MIKE FARLEY, WHO WILL, WITH A LEGAL INFORMANT, BE ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS THAT YOU, STUDENTS, PARENTS, OR UNCONNECTED COMMUNITY MEMBERS, MAY HAVE.

IT WILL BE AT 7:00 PM MOUNTAIN TIME, THURSDAY JULY 6, AT THE MURRAY LIBRARY (166 E. 5300 S., Murray UT, 84107).

SEE PICTURE FOR MORE DETAILS.

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Statues in Atrium, Science Teacher Found to be Living

AISU – An unsuspecting student was walking through the atrium on Tuesday when he reported feeling a warm gust of wind coming from the direction of a statue. He says he ignored it at first because he was so intently focused on getting to class on time and concentrating on his studies so he can have a successful future, but as he was walking by the statue again about 15 minutes later, he felt the wind much stronger. Completely freaked out, the student immediately ran to tell Mike, who promptly told this student to be quiet and get back to class.

 

However, Mike was himself a little spooked, so he checked the statue’s vital signs and found that it had a steady pulse and was, in fact, alive. Upon further investigation it was found that the other statue in the atrium, the mannequin in the PAC, and Mr. Donahue are all alive and breathing.

 

School officials have announced that they will take proper care of all living statues and teachers in the school and will conduct a full investigation to determine whether any other presumed inanimate objects or teachers are actually alive. The school denies any wrongdoing on their part, claiming it was an easy mistake to assume that these statues and teachers were not living beings, and that they hold no responsibility for the misunderstanding whatsoever.

 

Mr. Donahue disagrees with the school’s statement, and will be filing a lawsuit. In addition, the mannequin and statues have issued a joint statement promising revenge by creeping everybody out. The mannequin in particular has a reputation for creepiness, and experts advise all AISU students to stay out of the PAC on Fridays or after dark. It’s pretty scary.

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