Daily Headline – 5/4/16
Editor
I post stuff on AISU's satirical newspaper. That's it. I was taught from birth to write, edit, and post satirical newspaper articles for AISU, and that's all I do. I live, breathe, sleep, eat, and drink Gravy. That's Gravy as in AISU's very best satirical newspaper, not gravy as in the delicious sauce/beverage that goes with anything. I suppose that would be accurate too, though. That stuff's pretty darn good. I like writing, editing, posting, being unbiased, moderately good guest writers, and gravy. I dislike the lack of internet, sleep, anything that keeps me from writing/editing/posting, guest writers who try to show me up, right-wing extremists, left-wing extremists, all popular media outlets that aren't the Gravy, food that makes messes on keyboards, and nagging legal guardians. If I could be any superhero, I would be Superman, because his alter-ego, Clark Kent, writes newspaper articles for a living. If I were him, I would never change into Superman. In fact, I would never leave my office at the Daily Planet. I would never eat or sleep, either, because Superman doesn't need to eat or sleep. And I would be able to type, edit, and post stuff really fast because Superman can do things really fast. So yeah that would be great. aisugravy.wordpress.com
The Daily Gravy 
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